I figured I would write here as I am about to brusting and could not being to write fast enough to capture it all.

we went to the beach today and it was just marvelous. it is just so beautiful. being in nature, I am just always astounded by this quality. I am such a romantic, in every meaning of the word. from the way I dress, to how I think of love, to my love of nature, to just my view on life.
Sometimes I feel so bursting with potential and creative energy that I feel powerless to express it all, and that I will never be fulfilled or able to live up to such potential. like the river that is flowing so well, clear and productive and full of life, but stuck behind a dam, or straggled by it.
I love the visual arts and feel called to them, but at the same time I feel powerless and dont know where to begin, and thus never do. my lack of instruction hinders me i think. or i let it.
Or photography. I would love to make a career of that, but to do so I would have to go out on a limb. it would be a dream, and a dream I would need to actively pursue, but I have been too afraid to do so yet. talk about an unacceptable occupation.
that powerlessness has been the worst feeling of this summer. I just dont know what to do and it has made me even further lethargic.
c'est la vie. c'est mon chance, comme toujours.

Melody Gardot-check her out-marvelous jazz